forgingfires | Seasons Inbox

[ It would have ached to keep it with what went through her mind. ]

...Under ideal circumstances I wouldn't be able to smell anyone else on the bedding, and especially not their blood if there was biting. But...

[ There's no but. She just wants to be the type of person that could more gracefully work around something like that. Instead she lets that hang. ]

I understand, Saya. I can quell my instincts for short bursts, but I know it'd hit a critical mass at some point. It's just good to be certain so I know to be mindful.

I'm a bit different. I can usually tame things enough, given time, but the initial reaction is going to be what it is. And usually that's pretty intense.

[ Just, you know, fair warning. ]

Remember when I said that eventually I'll run and you'll have to chase me? That applies here. When I feel overwhelmed, especially by my instincts, I get scared off. [ Since she still doesn't know what causes her berserk rages, and Wukong made it sound like that's just who she is, she's trained herself to scamper off whenever she feels overcome by those feelings. That inclination sometimes has her running when it has nothing to do with being afraid of hurting anyone, when she's the only one hurting. ]

Proverbially or literally, when I feel that rush of possessiveness, I'll run. I'll insist I'm fine, and then I'll run. You can't let me. Reassure me that it doesn't change anything with us or how you feel about me, that should help.

Nothing will be helped if you let me alone to give me time. I'll spend every second of that time convincing myself of the worst, and then it will take far too long to right that ship. Make me stay, and talk to me. Talk until I hear you.

[ Hopefully now that she's given him clear directions the bump in the road will be a very brief one. ]

[Oooooh.]

Oh! One of those situations. [He remembers this conversation.]

I'll chase after you. [He reaches down, finally not clutching at her back, to reach for her hand.] I won't let you be alone with those thoughts.

One of those, yes. [ There are a lot of those, frankly. ] If I'm ever insisting on being alone, you need to default to chasing me down. I never want to be alone, I'm afraid of being alone, so if I'm saying I do then it's the biggest red flag imaginable.

[ There's saying she needs time before addressing something, which is one issue, and then there's running. Saying she wants to be alone "to think". Nothing good comes from the latter. ]

...It doesn't take long to calm me down. Or much. You'll see when it happens, if you keep me with you and keep up a steady stream of reassurance I'll settle down well enough to actually have an intelligent discussion fairly quickly.

[He nods, thinking it over and. Yeah. Time and alone are different.] I can understand that. Like earlier. I was asking you for time, but I wasn't asking you to go. [And there is a difference. Not having something happening right then is one thing. Not being around was another.]

I won't leave you alone. I'll stay and tell you my feelings over and over. Whatever you need to hear.

Admittedly, I wasn't responding from a thoughtful place before. I was confused and panicking a bit. [ Since it was totally out of the blue and she still doesn't know what the hell happened. And he wasn't being especially clear about what he wanted or where it was coming from, so hearing "it's not you, it's me" would trigger most people's Breakup Impulse. ] Now I know how to handle that, thankfully.

[ Facts and examples, not platitudes. Singing to cool him down. It's very doable. ]

I'm sorry. I wish I could manage the initial response a bit better... it's improving. Since I won't have to be a hatchling again, barring whatever this place might temporarily throw at us, it should get better over time. I'm not sure it'll ever be gone, but things have gotten markedly better since I woke up in Hell.

You don't need to apologize. I have hardly handled things with the most grace myself.

You've told me how to deal with it. I know better and I can help you.

Instincts are a powerful thing and its difficult to leash such impulses. Half of politeness in demon politics is just showing off the ability to be able to hold oneself with decorum for the pleasantries to be performed.

I can offer you as much patience as you offered me.

You've handled things fine, with me. So long as things work out in the long term, I never mind a few short term bumps too much. [ It hurts, but such is life. She's used to pain. ]

But if a time comes when you don't handle things so well, or I don't, it's not the end of the world so long as we don't let it fester.

[HAS HE THOUGH. Today was a trashfire for a while.]

[But he nods and kisses over her mark.] We'll figure it out. I'm not going to stop trying with you. Even if sometimes I need time to sort out how to handle something.

We will.

--Do you still want to eat something, or just rest a while? [ They've probably said enough highly emotional things for one day. Eventually even Saya hits her limit. ]

[He has to consider it for a while, but he also did just sob his heart out and that isn't Great for the appetite.]

Rest for a while.

Can you hand me a waterbottle? [Since he keeps a bunch for throat fire reasons on his nightstand.]

Mmhmm.

[ She telekinesises one out of the nightstand and into her hand, then gives it over. ]

Want me to go put the food away? I'm not quite good enough to use the telekinesis blind yet. Soon. I'm working on a project for a friend.

[Taking the bottle and going to drink some of it.]

Hmm, promise to come back to bed after?

I'll be back in two minutes. [ Given how fast she moves she could do it substantially faster, but why rush? ]

[ Two minutes and one very clean kitchen later, she walks back in and closes the door... and locks it after a second and with a shrug, since he did before. Then, back into prime snuggling position. ]

My life will get so much more fun when I figure this out. I'm teaching a blind friend to use telekinesis to do something akin to echolocation. It's so specialized that it's a bit slow going, but I'll get there. [ A bit of brilliance of her own. Saya can't science worth a damn but give her a physical or tactical task and she will rock it. ]

[He nods, letting her go. He'll take the chance to pull out his ponytail and properly kick off his slippers. He'll finish off his water by the time she's back.]

[He is quick to cuddle up against her as she returns, face pressed close to where the bitemark is on her neck.]

Telekinesis echolocation....can you feel things at all around the objects? I know I can grab things with wind without seeing it, but I can also feel the air flow.

Not feel exactly, but there is a sensation. It's like how a child learns to use their hands, or a person learns to do any task. If there was no control then instead of lifting a glass you'd fling it through the wall.

It's not a use I've ever seen done before, but my initial testing is quite promising -- I said I'd test out some methods and then instruct him, so he didn't waste time learning techniques that don't work well and muddle things up in his head. The difficulty is turning off my instincts and reflexes enough to be sure I'm using the telekinesis only, but I'm making progress.

A fascinating exercise, really. If I can do it right, he'd be able to "see" around corners and beneath or behind things in a way someone couldn't pick up visually. And of course the pulses could also cause their own damage or effect if the right force is applied.

Hm, that is a good point. Usually I just feel how the elements are interacting with things, the negative space of where it can exist.

The pulses would be very devastating. An unseen force is always a danger.

Devastating is usually how I work.

Although in this case the priority is the "sight". A few more tests and I'll have a working, teachable theory.

[He nods.] Being able to see is always useful. Damage is a variable.

You'll have to show me when you get it done.

I want to help him. Even if he did read my thoughts without permission -- he was just trying to get his bearings, so I'll forgive the intrusion once. [ Once. And Mika probably learned his lesson, her mind is a trip when you're getting all of it at once. ]

I'll do that. And I'll show off with the glaive once it gets made. I've started practicing with a fire version in the meantime just to get the feel for it.

He really should watch that sort of thing. Some people aren't so forgiving.

[He chuckles and nuzzles her neck.] I can't wait. I'll be sure to prioritize it when I have the forge.

Eh, it's fine. He was brand new and didn't believe me when I told him what I am. So he was trying to get a feel for what the real deal was and got more than he bargained for -- a lot more than I just gave you. Knocked him flat on his ass. So he learned his lesson.

[ If you don't want the Care Bear Stare + Snarling Predator Instinct Combo Breaker, keep your brain to yourself. ]

I'll do what I can myself so I don't distract you. It's more the gem inlays that would give me problems, I can do all the metalwork. Maintenance on a sword with blood channels in it takes a fair bit of skill.

[ Except first she's going to be told about MK and then the masquerade and then Venti so really it'll be a while before she's back here, enjoy your freedom Red Son. ]

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