forgingfires | Seasons Inbox

The people whose emotions you're interacting with then. Do THEY look better?

[I mean, that is how he would die if he lied to Red Son's face about it.]

I'm sure MK wouldn't protest it and there's actually some systems in place for beings who are older than paperwork getting actual licenses and social security cards. So that'd probably apply well enough for you to get settled.

I don't know your other options.

Depends still. MK, yes. People who want positivity, yes. You're hard to read. Knuckles is a bit hard to read.

[There would have been no lie. Cole would have simply touched Red Son and left him feeling drained and emotionally ravaged. And then bailed before incineration.

When Red Son starts talking about social security and systems, Cole doesn't bother hiding that it's gone right over his head.]

I don't either, so we're on the same page.

That's a big part of therapy right there.

I very much didn't talk at length about my real issues with you. Because that wasn't the point, and also....the centuries.

[Centuries of trauma isn't something you dump on someone you are trying to be NICE to.]

That would be a conversation with your other friends. I just know the Noodle Boy wouldn't say no to helping you.

Social security and systems are ways to make yourself an official part of society. You know how those airships require licenses to operate? That sort of thing. As well as owning businesses and working for places.

I figured not. You don't know me well, and it'd be weird to say there was trust beyond we don't have a reason to be enemies. But that's why I wonder if someone who does it for a job is actually helpful for someone like me.

[Conversations. With. Other. Friends...]

...fair.

I didn't know you needed all that to work.

Its an impartial third party who can look at it with clearer eyes, but they're also presumably emotionally competent so they can figure out how to react and shouldn't be utterly incompetent at it.

Like you don't ask an artist to repair a totaled car, you ask a mechanic and even if the car is totaled, they'd at least know where to go with that.

You need so much paperwork in the modern era. It took a month for me to get everything together to run a food stall.

I'll consider it.

I just started working and a six-year-old got a job with not even a full name. I'm guessing that's not normal then.

No and is usually against child labor laws.

What is the technology level of your world?

Child labor laws?

It's pretty similar to here. Just without most people knowing about the surpernatural.

Is the six year old working in a human establishment?

Not six-month-old as in baby. He's been around for six-months and didn't even have a full name.

Human establishment?

Owned by mostly monsters, mostly staffed by humans who aren't in the know.

Yeah, that would do it.

Humans are obsessed with paperwork.

I feel almost like I should be offended by that.

If you have those used to an odd situation, they give more allowances for oddities. Its just how it is.

But in short, there are plenty of options in other worlds.

Alright, I'll remember that.

Good.

Anyway.

Back to this. [He gestures to the powerpoint.] Figuring out love is difficult and it can vary from person to person. For sexual activities, its a lot easier to figure out.

Usually people start with self exploration. It cuts away the awkward and you don't feel so vulnerable and you can figure out if you at least like the sensations themselves.

If you hate the sensations, its pretty much a non-starter on anything else. You hate it, you hate it.

If you like it, then you can decide if exploring with a partner is something you can get comfortable with.

...you could also be meh on them, and that is more negotiating with a partner. I wouldn't do it with anyone who you aren't emotionally invested in.

Now considering your past reactions, I would say expect a bit of discomfort.

But you shouldn't experience discomfort for long, and definitely not the full time. Consider acceptable discomfort levels expected with trying something new that you aren't sure on, but if you're going to enjoy it, you should be able to relax into it and the discomfort fades.

Discomfort period, or from something specific? Because I was suggested exploration once...but I don't know if he was talking about this more than exploring changes.

In regards to you specifically, discomfort period. You have touch issues. So if you have decided to let anyone touch you that way, even if you were comfortable with their less intimate touches by that point, you may still experience discomfort at first.

I don't know if you would have discomfort touching yourself or realize you have discomfort the first time you experiment, but I wouldn't say that option is off the table.

Physical sensation itself shouldn't be too discomforting without the psychological aspect involved. It also shouldn't hurt. If it hurts, then things are moving too fast.

But like I said, the discomfort should not be the whole time. If the discomfort lingers too long, then its better to stop and evaluate. Never try and force it longer than a few minutes at most, even with someone you really, really want to try it with.

It should also feel good sooner rather than later. Discomfort may distract at first, but if it never feels pleasant, that is definitely a stop and evaluate as well.

What changes?

Fair enough, I guess.

I used to be a human kid. Now l look like a gremlin. Well...to anyone who can see it anyway. But also, at the time he suggested it, I had just lost 12 years of memories from my 20 years of living.

So a lot changed.

...well, that certainly explains how you've missed some things. [Swiss cheese memory and all.]

I would take it quite slow with that information. Better to work up to a make out over two years than to rush into something that leaves you feeling traumatized because you weren't ready.

[A pause.] He'll wait for you, so absolutely do not push yourself.

[The first ever acknowledgement to THAT little fact that Red Son definitely totally knew this whole time.]

[~~Timey wimey wibbly wobbly threads~~]

Even for someone who is on the typical allosexual side of things, if they aren't the right mix of physical, mental, and emotional readiness, it can be quite upsetting. Which can apply for in general or in the moment. This kind of thing can be bad one time and fine another, that's normal enough to happen.

Also the fact your body changed might prove a complication....that is something you should look into, I didn't study much on body dysphoria and how that interplays with sex.

Not really. The 12 years didn't have the answer, I have those back now. You don't get to learn things you need to survive when you're a snoop on a leash that can be yanked any time.

I just missed out.

...I know he wont...and I wasn't going to bring that up, since things are complicated between you two.

I've heard the word dysphoria, but I don't know what it means. I've never heard of Allosexual though.

The only thing I've explored, I guess, is my pocket. Because it's useful.

Ah.

Yes, a leash does that. [He scratches at his neck.]

I wouldn't say complicated at this stage. We're at the figuring out the exact boundaries and expectations, but that is part of relationships, not a complication.

Dysphoria is usually brought up with transgender people. In species that can't just rearrange their bodies, sometimes people can be born as one gender and discover they are actually the other. So someone may be born with a penis, but decide they feel more like a girl. However, those people can suffer a disconnect with how their body looks compared to how they feel. When it comes to bodily dysphoria, my experience is limited because of said rearranging.

But since my gender is fluid, there are days where some manners of address become grating. It would be irksome and make me more irritable to be addressed as a boy or girl on certain days where I was feeling strongly one way. Its kind of like a constant itch that you can't scratch, but on your brain, of knowing something isn't right. At least that is my experience and I believe its a fairly minor irritation compared to most.

Allosexual would be someone who has a typical amount of sexual attraction to others. Essentially what would be considered the average relationship to one's sexuality.

...your pocket?

[He notices that. But he doesn't ask. Yet.]

Okay, it was very complicated then. And scary, for MK. I can't speak for you, but I'm glad that's not the case anymore. That's good.

[That explanation puts some things in perspective for him actually.]

I know a guy like that. I never asked why, but he was a female when he was human but male in all of his werewolf stages, so he was in his most human werewolf form anytime we were home. That makes a lot of sense, since I guess that means his wolf knew his true shape.

[He points to the pocket of his hoodie]

Yeah. You can't see it, just like you can't see me, but I have an extra pocket on me.

I literally changed my moral alignment for him, I still cannot fathom how he thought he had no chance. [He knows MK was, but it was still...ridiculous to him. He had a lot more reason to be terrified. And he had definitely been.]

Shapeshifting can be very illuminating in that way, yes. Your body is already changing, so it allows for things like that to slip through. Mother had noted it was odd how often my form would fluctuated when I was changing into a human or making some other alteration that wasn't specifically gender. That helped clue into the irritation eventually.

...like a kangaroo?

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