forgingfires | Seasons Inbox

Your points contradict each other. She and MK aren't that unique, you know. [ He thinks MK is special too, but so are a lot of people. The chances that there are only two of that kind here and Red Son pulled both of them defies probability. ]

Seems like 80% of things you mention to me are secrets. What the hell has that woman gotten you into? [ Because it's not MK or he'd know, and Macaque isn't dumb enough to buy that these are all about separate people. ]

The things Wukong and Saya have in common are very rare, and Saya is painfully honest.

Ultimately, the problem is Wukong needs to let people in before he finds those special people. I'm still unclear why he started mentoring MK at all. I've yet to get a clear answer out of him on that front. But it wasn't because he saw this eager fanboy from afar and formed a parasocial relationship. It took a while before he realized he had let MK into his heart for real beyond that general 'is a good person so will care about people in general' thing. That took time and bonding.

Its all pretty much the same thing, but its coming to a head soon or I'm going to throw myself into the ocean.

And MK has nothing in common with him except goofiness and a guilty heroic streak, so again that doesn't prove anything. Even I'm getting close to him again, with all the baggage.

Stop trying to analyze why Wukong does things and why it won't work and just be genuine, without doing calculus about what he might want to hear or how to protect yourself. That's all it takes to get him to listen. It cut through all the crap between the two of us.

It's really not good to have this much stress in your life.

MK also took time to get there.

Its less analysis for our whole situation as just pointing out some possible misconceptions on how easily he's making friends these days.

Saying I care is already going to be vulnerable. Saying things is hard, but he doesn't really get actions very well. Not from me. I don't know if he even gets it when I'm saying things.

I would like there for there to be less stress. At least when this is done, it'll be done.

Vulnerable like me telling him I still love him and getting shot down? ...I'm not playing "who has it worse" I'm more saying "I get it, but do it anyway." That's what you were saying to me, so I'm just returning the favor.

If it really doesn't work, I'll help if I can. I know MK wants to stay out of it and he'd be a bad idea anyway and it sounds like what's-her-name might be pissed at you or something soon enough.

I know, I know. That's part of the pact anyway. A push to do what we need to.

MK is the worst idea because he takes any failures personally. I would love him to help, but its not going to be a linear path and I don't want him to be hurt when the dips will absolutely surely happen.

She might be. Its the unfortunate situation where it could swing sharply one way or the other. Which adds to the stress really. If I knew what to expect with more certainty, it would be easier to brace.

If it goes badly, I can swipe a bottle of that incredibly effective stuff from the vampire's wine cellar. [ He makes a point to know where these things are kept. ]

Too bad you can't ask for advice. I'll think good thoughts for your walls.

It might be warranted. We'll see where I'm at afterwards.

I already did. That's why Wukong is helping me with it.

It doesn't sound like you'll be in any place to ask her for it yourself if things go badly.

You know he's a terrible person to ask, don't you? Even if they do share whatever direct experiences you're referencing.

Probably not, no. Though honestly, I may just ask you to wreck me instead, if you're willing. Or MK. Depends how much I want emotions over just having my brain melt out my ears.

In this case, there's really no one else to ask where it doesn't get complicated by other unimportant things at best, or is more likely incomprehensible.

Edited 2024-01-02 04:17 (UTC)

Oh, I see what I'm good for.

I'm joking. Of course, whatever you need. Bring MK if it helps you.

I don't think I'd have the emotional capacity for both. Also, I wouldn't want to bring down MK. He'd be so excited for it, and being worried about me would distract him from taking full advantage. Or being taken full advantage of.

But that would be the thing. MK would be worried and I may not be in the place to deal with that directly so soon after. If I asked you not to worry and just leave me a mess, you're pretty good at that.

"Pretty" good? I have a mind to prove you dead wrong about that.

When's all this going down, so I know to not be elsewhere?

Fantastic then.

Early January. January 4th, I think. Recover from New Years, gives me time to check in with Wukong and Kantera, all that.

Better.

Her husband? Whatever this is sounds like a big deal. Maybe worthy of a combination of drinking and wrecking and the shibari rope.

We'll see where I'm at. I'll definitely need something at some point. It's a lot of me trying to be emotionally competent and that mileage can vary wildly.

You'll make it work. Nothing dredges up your last reserves of coping like someone you love needing you.

And if you need to fall apart after, I don't mind that either. [ Less fun than sex, but he held Red Son through a breakdown before, he'll do it again if necessary. Better him than MK, this is not a situation where you go to your other partner for comfort. ]

True.

[There is a delay because its]

[Its so different having friends.]

Thank you. I appreciate it. Though likely its more just a need to get all the built up anxiety out that anything. Probably avoid wallowing in any potentially hurt feelings.

It is what it is. Trying to manage how you feel is a fool's errand, trust me. [ Not that he's not about to try. ]

True. At best I've ever managed was directing them for less damage.

It's just a thought. You won't know what you need until it's over, but I don't care if you need to get some things out. Finding people who won't take those particular feelings personally is hard, I know.

True. On both fronts.

Speaking of, how are you doing? Emotion wise, with Noodle Boy? You don't have to answer indepth or anything, just checking in.

[What with his anxieties.]

If I didn't want to answer I sure shouldn't have made a bet around it.

I'm not sure what you're talking about, though.

Probably.

The anxiety and all that? Any serious regrets?

I don't see what there is to regret.
It's just sex, not a big emotional thing.

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