[Really hard to take that head on, for some reason. It feels like]
[Its feels like a lot.]
[He wants to argue. Its fine, he's fine, sometimes things are just cold and empty and things will get better if he just kept going, kept working, its just some rough patches, he doesn't need to make it worse by complaining.]
[But he also knows what happened between Macaque and Wukong and it feels...wrong to make the arguments with that knowledge. Like it somehow suddenly doesn't make sense.]
You-you wouldn't...lose me...
[His voice is quiet, hard pounding, face red and earnest and just a bit afraid.]
[ What happened with Wukong doesn't hurt as much anymore, but Macaque remembers how it hurt. He never wants to go through that again, especially over something that's so-- ]
[ Simple? Yes, that's the word, simple. Talking to someone you care for and trust should be simple. It isn't, but it should be. ]
[ He wraps an arm around Red Son and pulls himself closer, mainly so poor Red won't have to look him in the eye during the whole exchange. ]
You sound so sure of that. How can you be so sure?
[It helps. It truly does. Its hard to keep his gaze while trying to come up with the words. To deal with the racing of his heart and mind with his face so close.]
...I don't think I could ever give up on someone I care about.
But messing up when it's a small thing has to be better than messing up when it's so big you can't even carry it anymore.
Besides, you know I don't let people in often [ or he didn't until recently ] you think I'm going to give up so easily? I couldn't give up on someone I care about either. Not again.
Trying is good. [ His arm gives a comforting squeeze. ]
And lucky for me, you're desperately unsubtle, so I'll probably have a clue there's something going on. [ Just a joke to hopefully lighten things up a little. ]
I'll try too, for whatever it's worth. And it is worth a lot to me that you will.
Better is a worthy effort to make. For both of us.
But... I wouldn't have let you in at all if you weren't already pretty damn good for me. [ He wouldn't have said this before Donnie messed with his brain, but he'd have felt it and thought it (before shoving that thought away). ]
[This is doing things to his heart. To hear he's important and helpful is his weakness. He tries SO HARD to be good for those he cares about, to be useful in some way, it hits hard to have it confirmed.]
[ He pulls away again, fixing Red with a different sort of grin. Running his fingers through that crackling hair, his touch gentle even as his smile is suggestive. ]
[He's blushing, but leans forward to kiss Macaque. Slow at first, but driving up the intensity steadily as his hands go to his hair. Running through it and tugging lightly as he presses closer to him.]
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
[Really hard to take that head on, for some reason. It feels like]
[Its feels like a lot.]
[He wants to argue. Its fine, he's fine, sometimes things are just cold and empty and things will get better if he just kept going, kept working, its just some rough patches, he doesn't need to make it worse by complaining.]
[But he also knows what happened between Macaque and Wukong and it feels...wrong to make the arguments with that knowledge. Like it somehow suddenly doesn't make sense.]
You-you wouldn't...lose me...
[His voice is quiet, hard pounding, face red and earnest and just a bit afraid.]
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
[ Simple? Yes, that's the word, simple. Talking to someone you care for and trust should be simple. It isn't, but it should be. ]
[ He wraps an arm around Red Son and pulls himself closer, mainly so poor Red won't have to look him in the eye during the whole exchange. ]
You sound so sure of that. How can you be so sure?
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
...I don't think I could ever give up on someone I care about.
[That, he knows at least.]
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
Not much in any world scares me. Getting close to people, that was one, but that ship sailed. The only thing left is losing them again.
If I can let you in despite that, can't you try to say something when you're struggling?
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
What if I mess up?
[Because that is the real fear. He can say, but he also]
[Doesn't really trust himself to do it.]
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
But messing up when it's a small thing has to be better than messing up when it's so big you can't even carry it anymore.
Besides, you know I don't let people in often [ or he didn't until recently ] you think I'm going to give up so easily? I couldn't give up on someone I care about either. Not again.
[ Not unless brain lasers are involved. ]
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
I can...try. Try to say, let you know if I....feel neglected.
I don't want anything to get too big.
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
And lucky for me, you're desperately unsubtle, so I'll probably have a clue there's something going on. [ Just a joke to hopefully lighten things up a little. ]
I'll try too, for whatever it's worth. And it is worth a lot to me that you will.
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
I know. I just...didn't want to lie. That would be worse.
But I wish to be...better for you.
[....fuck.]
[Fuck, this is the kind of thing he thinks of when he thinks of Saya and MK.]
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
But... I wouldn't have let you in at all if you weren't already pretty damn good for me. [ He wouldn't have said this before Donnie messed with his brain, but he'd have felt it and thought it (before shoving that thought away). ]
Thank you. I know it's asking a lot.
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
[Oh no]
[This is doing things to his heart. To hear he's important and helpful is his weakness. He tries SO HARD to be good for those he cares about, to be useful in some way, it hits hard to have it confirmed.]
I'm...glad to hear that.
You're good for me too.
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
[ He shifts so he can murmur in Red's ear. ] You want to see what other good things we can do?
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
[Honestly, it would be good to have these feelings directed somewhere.]
....I did promise a wind up after the loosening...
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic
[ He pulls away again, fixing Red with a different sort of grin. Running his fingers through that crackling hair, his touch gentle even as his smile is suggestive. ]
Go on and show me.
Re: After Korone is discharged from the clinic