forgingfires | Seasons Inbox

Okay, so there was definitely partial deflection in that.

Was it really meant to be a secret? I would assume the only one to not just say it to is Wukong because you should say it, but I thought you wanted to move on so it could help ease things between you two?

I'd have liked to talk to him myself so he didn't spin out with whatever ideas got into his head about me and what my being over Wukong should mean for me and him.

Did he seem upset about it? He was furious with me and I can't figure out why. He can't have thought it meant I was going to just wake up and be able to get close to people so easily, can he?

Ah. Admittedly, I had not considered it.

He hadn't seemed especially upset. I'm sure part of the extremeness of the reaction was his deflection. When he's feeling cornered, his reactions always get out of hand. Combined with his fear of you rejecting him, it would be potent.

And he may have also been hiding how he was feeling at the time with me.

Edited 2024-02-10 06:54 (UTC)

Maybe next time let me talk about these things with people. Okay? [ He's not mad at Red but holy fucking shit he feels like he kicked a hornet's nest he didn't even know was there. ]

What was the context of the conversation? Would he have any reason to think I was getting closer to other people now and leaving him out? Because that's how he was acting, like I rejected him.

Ah well.

I was concerned myself and I was attempting to judge how much of it was valid concern and how much was just my tendency to be protective of those important to me?

Concerned about wha

[ Mid text he cuts it off and just portals in beside Red. ]

Start talking.

[There is a loud squawk and he jerks away, falls out of his chair and rolls over to end up on his butt, looking up with]

[A very red face and thundering heartbeat.]

[ He cracks a smile, at least. ]

Very graceful.

Now: talk.

You were the one who just teleported in here!

[He groans and falls back on the floor, face in hands.]

I...well...you have been acting different. And its not just...happier?

What is it, then? And why does he think I've given him the cold shoulder?

[There is]

[A real long pause.]

[His heart had almost started to slow, but no, its sped right back up.]

[ He starts tapping his finger against his crossed arms. ]

We can do this all day until you give me an answer.

[Okay. Okay, he doesn't have to ADMIT anything.]

[Its just telling Macaque how he is]

[Acting.]

[He's just going to sit up. Then stand up.]

So, you've been acting....

Affectionate. That was...

Softer than you usually do.

This is not a complaint or anything!

But it is...different.

[ processing... processing... oh! ]

So you said I was getting more affectionate with you, and he assumed I'm not getting more affectionate with him because I want to keep distance between us? Something like that?

...I did think you liked the affection. All the softer stuff. Do you not?

Yes, most likely.

No. Yes! I mean-

I do enjoy....

Softer affection. [His heart is racing against, and a hand moves to cover part of his face.] I was just...unused to it from you. You've never been cold of course, but it was....

It was more akin to the kind of soft that MK and Saya express.

[ Macaque robs at his forehead. No one can match MK in manufacturing a huge problem spun whole cloth from a non-issue. ] What is to be done with that boy?

[ Anyway. ] I can do more of that, the softer affection. Just tell me what you want. [ No need for the racing heart. ]

I can talk to him? Not in a fix your problems with you way, but get him to get his head on straight way.

...okay, honestly, I'm going to talk to him anyway, but that's because he does need his head knocked on straight.

[ewajoejaw]

[His hair crackles.] That-

I mean-

It...

It can kind of seeming more....

Romantically interested? Perhaps that is just my associations, but-

He could open his mouth and tell me what's up without losing his shit on me just as easily.

[ More importantly for now, though. He hadn't considered the romantic feelings angle, but he can understand why it could follow. And he's truly not sure what he's hoping for here. ]

Do you want me to be romantically interested?

Yes, but when does he ever do that?

[MK is a mess.]

[He chokes at that response, and this isn't a crackle, its a full on fire.]

That-

That is hardly something for me to decide?!

[ Now, now. You're both messes. ]

It seems like what you want would matter here. As for what I want...

I'll have to think about it. I never thought I'd have romantic intentions with anyone else. But the idea doesn't alarm me like it does with most people. That's probably meaningful.

Only if you wanted something! They're your feelings. What I want doesn't matter unless you want those feelings to matter!

[Oh god. Oh no.]

[That is not helping his heart slow down.]

[WHY IS HE SO CAVALIER ABOUT THIS?]

[ Go Go Gadget Weirdly Functioning Brain Due To Surgery ]

What you want matters to me. I at least want to know what it is.

[ He is being Cavalier, isn't he? It's great, he's a fan. Beats flailing all over the place and loving someone who doesn't love you. ]

[ He's really not sure how exploring deeper feelings would go. Maybe it would go nowhere. But the whole point of his surgery was that he wanted to be open to that, right? ]

If you want to explore that, we can. Maybe we'll have those feelings and maybe not, but it seems silly and futile to hide from it.

[He]

[He did not plan to get this far????]

[HE HADN'T EVEN GIVEN SERIOUS THOUGHT ABOUT HIS CRUSH YET, it just came up and he knew LYING to Macaque would be BAD, they are honest with each other, so he couldn't just pretend he didn't suspect why MK got into a tizzy, and honestly he was kind of expecting Macaque to say no, he just was feeling affection more easily without Wukong feelings, AT BEST.]

[Really, his gut instinct would be he'd laugh at the very notion.]

[NOT TURN IT AROUND ON HIM LIKE THIS.]

[He opens his mouth. Closes it.]

[Steam might actually be coming out of his ears.]

[ He may still ultimately say no. Or Red might. The point is, he's not going to say it outright, without even trying, because what he wanted from Donnie's brain lasers was a chance at being happy. And yeah there are some apparent casualties, but MK isn't here. He said he was done. Red isn't saying that. ]

[ Macaque settles in to wait until the smoke clears. ] Take your time.

[This is not]

[Helping his crush feelings.]

[He]

[Should say no? Not complicate it?]

[BUT ALSO HE GETS CRAZY ABOUT ROMANTIC FEELINGS]

[If it gets worse, and he denies it now, and it was possible-]

[He's]

[Pacing a bit. Hair sparking and he's making a noise that isn't entirely unlike a distressed moo of all things.]

[It takes a few minutes.]

Its not-

A terrible thought?!

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