forgingfires | Seasons Inbox

Wukong couldn't see past the end of his own nose for the longest time, so that explains some of it. Still can't, but in a different way entirely.

--Do you not know that? Yeah, it's a whole thing. When I first got here I was eavesdropping a lot, trying to figure out the situation with MK's whole curse thing since it sounded messy, and I heard him talking to Cole about never feeling like anyone would choose him first. This was before you and he got your heads out of your asses, so he might not feel as desperate about it now, but he was pretty down at the time, thinking you'd never choose him over Saya. It would probably help if you told him that's not true, and that you loved him before her. Let him know he's your top priority, above all others, all that good stuff.

But obviously don't tell him how you know it's an insecurity, or I'll be pissed.

Even my anger at Wukong is still evidence that he's all I think about. At least most of it. I traded in affection for hurt and rage but it's all just different words for the same intensity. Goodness knows what the combination of feelings is now but the intensity is always there. Even MK won't have missed it... but I'm still not going to make a point of saying so. It would be cruel and it's nothing he needs to hear.

I'm not sure what MK wants from me exactly, but definitely nothing that would be in the same universe as anything I have for Wukong. He keeps saying I'm his teacher, so I guess something in that realm.

That does make sense. A little too ego centric.

I did not know that specific anxiety, no. I knew he didn't feel good enough and that Saya was better, but that is different from feeling like he can't ever be first. Especially with how many people DO put him first. [Mei, the rest of his adoptive family, hell Wukong probably does too, all things considered.] I won't tell him how I found out. I can probably avoid mentioning I know that at all, I should reasonably know enough to find ways to reassure.

Do you want me to ask what that is, or should that be a you two conversation?

I imagine the whole polyamory thing plays hell with his confidence sometimes, which I know because it would with mine. Probably tell him constantly, be quite specific, maybe one day some of it'll sink in.

If you want to help him come up with an actual answer with nouns in it, by all means. But he's got to tell me himself. And he's got to be ready for me to say I can't do any of that yet without losing his mind.

I can do more affirmations. I think. [HE'S. BEEN DOING THEM A LOT LATELY.]

[Because of the Wukong thing.]

So help him process is okay. Got it. And I'll see about making sure he's braced. Maybe slow down and breathe about it instead of going full tilt like he has been.

The things you've been doing? No, that's something else. There's an ocean of difference between "I love you" and "I love you the most, more than anyone else this world could throw at me." I know it's a bit complicated by the whole more than one partner thing, but the latter is what he needs from you. To know that he's first, not tied with someone else for first.

[ Macaque is pushing this for a reason. Cole told MK that he was first to him. His first and only choice. And while Macaque isn't going to violate Cole's confidence, he does find himself wanting Red Son and MK to work out and that means giving this advice. (He wants good things for Cole too but that child needs to work through a world of his own issues before he gets too deep into any romantic thing with anyone.) ]

...He's not going to want to talk about it, but you probably knew that. I think I burned him pretty substantially. Not meaning to, of course.

[That is a very complicated and dangerous road to head down.]

...I'll handle it. [He has. Ideas already anyway. More physical things.] It just seemed best to be settled in before doing certain things. [MK had brought up a mark before. And he can't say he doesn't want one. Just usually not best as the First Move.]

Of course he's not going to want to talk about it. He struggles with every talking about is problems. But we promised we'd try and I intend to hold him to that.

Good. [ As long as it's handled, no complaints on this end. He's trying to contribute what he can to make sure Red Son doesn't accidentally fuck up a good thing. No one deserves that kind of loss, let alone two people Macaque happens to like. ]

Tell me about it. Why do you think I made a video game to try and get him to figure things out? He was too impatient to get the point but I thought I'd work better than just telling him things.

Edited 2023-11-29 18:38 (UTC)

[Red Son gonna do his Best.]

I'm impressed you managed to put together a video game that fast. Even simple ones can take days of coding.

Though I don't think a video game can do much for this. He's probably going to be in it real deep if he's messing up this badly.

I was curious how they work, so I'd been reading. Catching up on the last thousand years and all. So I took it as a challenge. It was kind of fun.

It did take days, but it's not like I had much else to do. I was hiding from Peng at the time. [ He knew he'd end up in the scroll himself if he so much as stuck his head out, and he could see where things were headed, so. ]

They are a fascinating bit of work. Maybe I should look into their creation now that I have more free time.

[He scoffs.] Irksome bird. They were annoyingly fast too.

Reading about the whole advent of mechanical technology at once was quite an experience, I will admit. When I went under the pinnacles of technology were windmills and gunpowder. Barely.

Why do you think I was hiding? They have their talents, I have mine.

I could tell you about it if you have questions. When the first cars were made, I got heavily invested in the progress. I'm pretty sure I could make some human historian's day with the details. [Hyperfixation is Real.]

So they were that good of a tracker?

If I ever need details. Or if you're looking for an excuse to blather about it. It's interesting for sure, and you never know when this information might come in handy.

Birds of prey usually are, aren't they?

[A pause.] You'd just let me blather? [Listen. LISTEN. He's still getting used to people just LETTING him go off. His mother only had so much patience for Red Son just going off.]

Hm, true.

[ A shrug ] Why wouldn't I? Knowing at least a little about a lot of things is useful in all sorts of ways. And there's only so much information I can glean from the technical books myself without making my way through half a library.

And I know you wouldn't be patronizing about it. [ He smiles in a way that somewhat serves as a warning. Act like an ass and he will portal in some rotten vegetables to throw. ]

[He rubs his arm.] It is important to have a variety of information, and I don't...believe I'm patronizing.

I just get...excitable. [He shrugs.] Mother said it was cute, but she also would get bored rather quickly.

I suppose we'll find out. [ One way or the other. ]

Your mother is an impressive and formidable woman, but I'm not surprised. She'd listen if she thought she needed to know it. She's very specific about where to place her attention.

[He nods.] Very true. I know. Frankly, she's probably more patient with me than she would be with anyone else.

[But when she was the only one he was around with any regularity, it had. An impact.]

Its just strange when people seem to encourage it these days. Nice. Just strange.

Whenever, then. I quite like learning new things. [ Traditionally so he can use them in his plots, but. ]

And you're good at distracting me thus far. Hopefully it won't be any trouble when I ask questions. I've managed to muddle through the broader strokes of technology, but the finer points I didn't have much time to get into, with a couple of exceptions.

[Asking questions.] I don't mind questions. [It shows ENGAGEMENT and that is attention.]

It can be a lot to catch up on, especially if you're busy with other things. I only started paying attention after I discovered cars and it took a few years to make up the difference.

[ Red Son is never going to be more attracted to Macaque than when he's leaning over a diagram of a combustion engine describing all the parts and how they work after listening raptly to Red Son lecture about it. ]

Actually, maybe you can help me with something. None of the headphones or ear buds I've tried work with my ears, for obvious reasons. It would be nice to be able to block out sounds sometimes when I need that, and also to be able to listen to something through headphones without it being painfully loud. Even the low settings on the standard ones hurt.

--I'll find some way to compensate you for it. [ He doesn't say it in a flirty way but he can totally pay in brain-melting orgasms if MK gives his approval. ]

[Honestly, its true. He thrives on getting attention.]

[There is a pause that's just a bit too long because Red Son was absolutely already working on some noise cancelling headphones because he's just Like This.]

I could do that. The noise cancelling for sure. Autumn users have the ability to cancel out sound, so making something enchanted can be done sooner if its been a problem. I can build something so you don't need to rely on having access to a specific magical item, and to play music, though I'll need to do a test to see how low it needs to be to not hurt. I'll have it start at half the decibels of standard head phones and see how low I can get it to go from there for ranges to test.

If you want, though there's probably some gift giving holiday around the corner. You know how mortals get about mid-winter.

[ Ahhh don't take initiative for something nice you'll make him all squirmy ]

There's no hurry, I've been compensating for this for a very long time, I'm good at it. The glamours help a little, which is part of the reason I started doing it when I learned how. [ The rest is that he got very tired of being rejected for his appearance, and after a while, the recognition thing. ]

It'll probably need to be two tests, one with the glamours and one without. But it's fine either way. [ He waves a hand. ] Whatever is needed.

[ He doesn't just pause at the mention of gifts, he freezes. Just for a few beats. ]

I'll pay for it. If you don't want money, give me a list of rare or expensive supplies you want and I'll nab them for you.

...Gods, this means MK's going to try to give me something, doesn't it? Maybe Cole too. [ Why is he forsaken??? ] If only hiding for a month or two would be enough to dodge them, but the second I stick my head out they're going to pounce, even if it's not until summer. [ Truly, he lives a life of torture. ]

[He makes things for people he likes! Its what he does! Macaque just doesn't need to know he's already got plans drawn up.]

Hm, I'll think of a fair price then. [He offered it as a gift, but he's not gonna drive off Macaque. The verbal equivalent of holding out his hand and letting him sniff.]

But yes to the two tests. I know I can hear things differently between the sets of ears. Also measurements. If its custom, no reason not to ensure its the most comfortable fit. Any preferences between headphones versus earbuds?

Oh, almost definitely. You could potentially head them off and say you have a gift giving budget. They do that sort of thing on sitcoms, so it could limit what they'll try to do. Or lead to shenanigans, but I'm mostly sure that's just TV drama.

[ Whyyyy does everyone keep trying to be his friend, it's so upsetting! Closeness ends in misery, after all. ]

The more easily hidden the better, I don't want to advertise my hearing, either its strengths or weaknesses. So earbuds, if you can get those to work. If not, it's fine, I'll add another layer of glamour.

[ Macaque groans softly and folds his arms on the bar so he can rest his forehead on them. ] Can the budget be zero? I'm not good at this stuff.

[ All the while his head is buzzing about what he should get Wukong for any such occasion so clearly he's a giant hypocrite. ]

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