forgingfires | Seasons Inbox

[ She thinks for a second. ] The effect is definitely cumulative.

MK was still pretty upset. I get it, I assumed the worst until you told me about the costume possession. My head was pretty much a mess since the masque thanks to the dreams and Venti, but I should have known those couldn't be things MK would really say to me. It should have clicked, and it didn't.

Maybe I was too invested in having something to be angry about that wasn't all the people I killed or the losses I suffered that there's no undoing, I don't know.

We'll be fine, we can rebuild things I think, but it's different now... and I didn't really get the most out of the time I was supposed to be thinking and dealing with it all because of all the grief stuff. And Haji wasn't in any of my dreams. It's like he doesn't want to find me here or something. That really messed me up.

The thing with Wukong got added to the pile, but again, at least that's something actionable. So it's not as bad as it could be.

Dreams? Do you know why you're having dreams? [He didn't have any lanterns to light.]

[HAJI AGAIN.]

...if the dreams are supposed to be contact...that isn't a very precise magic. It can be very hard to make contact through them.

Wukong is actionable. If I could just find out what he's working on, I should have a sample in my lab. We raided the lab pretty thoroughly.

It's part of the ritual. Lighting candles for those we lost, and they come to you in a dream. I don't remember how many people I lost, so I lit a bunch of them. But I was purposeful in doing so for Riku and Haji, my father, Diva. The rest of them showed up in my dreams with messages... none of them comforting.

I had dreams of so many others I can't even remember. Begging me to know them. Wondering why I abandoned them, killed them, didn't love them.

But he didn't come.

...maybe that's why. Maybe the messages weren't supposed to be comforting. So he couldn't appear.

[OR MAYBE HE'S NOT DEAD.]

I -- maybe? That's not how they said it worked. But I guess so. It's just this, the gem... it's weird, right?

-- Anyway, don't want to dwell on that. The point is that the dreams started before the masque, and you know what happened there, and afterwards Venti was missing. So I was just letting my own grief crowd out what should have been obvious, that MK was being controlled by something else.

I feel terrible about it.

[THE INTERNAL SCREAMING.]

[He needs to talk to...someone. Maybe Yuri.]

Did he seem upset about it?

Yeah. Really upset. I can't blame him.

We agreed that we're still friends, it's not going to be a problem for you or anything, he was just hurt that I didn't realize it until you told me. Which is very understandable.

And he did confirm that he sees me as being like the Lady Bone Demon... he tried to put a positive spin on it, but that hurt too. It's my worst nightmare, and not one that's out of the realm of possibility.

We'll figure it out.

...did he say anything I didn't?

[ She gives him a pained look. ]

Can we get into that another time? I need to think on it.

...okay.

[He reaches over to take her hand.] I ask just so I can help.

[A pause.] I don't know if Wukong is going to remember to talk to you about this, considering...everything, but he said it wasn't what he meant. About your 'true nature.'

You can take what people say about you in the worst light, I just want to help keep you from the end of the darkest road.

[ She doesn't find his hand, but her hold is listless. ]

I know you're trying to make me feel better, but that fear serves a purpose. If I stop being nervous about losing control, if I get complacent -- I never want to feel like that again.

Maybe it's not the best for my self-esteem, but when weighted against the possibility of committing another massacre it's a small price to pay.

I'm begging you, let it go.

[He hesitates. For several beats.]

Even if the fear serves a purpose...

Can you try to remember we don't see you like that?

On one condition.

You try to remember that I'm happy for the first time in my life, that I don't want to self-actualize or whatever, and that my mind interprets attempts to make that happen as a rejection of who and what I am.

If we can agree on that, then I'll do my part.

[He nods.] Okay. I can agree with that.

[Squeezing her hand again.]

[ She leans over to kiss his cheek. ]

Thank you.

[ Your generous contribution to her shitty self esteem is appreciated. ]

[He is doing his best.]

[He touches her cheek with his free hand and kisses just to the side of her mouth.]

I love you.

[ At least he didn't have to talk about Haji? ]

Love you too.

Should we get you cleaned up back at your place? I know you can dry yourself, but the sand.

[He has to talk to Yuri SO BAD.]

Give me a few minutes. I can turn it into glass and its actually easier to explode off.

That's convenient.

But I do need a shower, and to probably throw away this corset, so don't take too long.

You get creative as a child when you hate being in the water.

Oh. [He looks at the corset.] I'll buy you a new one.

Thanks, but I have several at home, plus three that are almost done.

You'll like them.

...I really should check out your tailor. [They are very nice.]

...I'm not sure I'm ready for home yet. [MK might be there and he might yeet himself out if he's surprised by sudden MK.]

I make my own. If you want one, just let me measure you.

Okay, we can wait a bit longer. Or we can go to my place.

Oh. Yes, that would be nice.

We can go to your place. [Picking up the rest of his stuff.]

We can grab you're measurements while we're there. They're about the same in both forms, and corsets are adjustable within a few centimeters.

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